CHAPTER 34

The Inverse Episode (A Christmas Story of the Far Future)

The Inverse sat motionless in the black void of the starless Dark.  No lights shown and no energy seemed apparent.  Almost undetectable tiny sensor buoys surrounded her.  Their passive nature emitted nothing, but sensed everything.  Like a deadly thing sitting in perfect ambush, it just seemed to be dead … and waiting. 

A tiny hailing probe slowly moved toward a point well in front of the bow of the Inverse.  So far, there was no reaction.  Careful attention was focused on tells of power in the Inverse.  There were no detectable emissions.  The hailing probe kept repeating its short message in just one language using a very short-range signal.  “Scorp to Hot Shot.  Are you asleep or something?  Drop your illusion projection and lower your stealth shield.  I wasn’t followed.”  After a few moments, the Inverse suddenly vanished. 

My rear view screen screamed an alarm as the real Inverse suddenly appeared directly astern.  It was looking down its missile-studded nose right at me.  I flicked the alarm off and poked the close proximity transmit button.  I stood on screen with a warm smile, saying, “You old dog!  You are always messing with me!”  A moment of silence lingered like mute void. 

“Scorp ol’ buddy!  ‘Tis good for my eyes to see your ship in one piece!”, he declared with a chuckle over the com-link as his image popped onto the screen. 

I asked, “Why all the cloak ‘n dagger precautions?” 

He answered, “Not over a link.  Come aboard and we shall sup, drink, and talk.” 

Suddenly, without his asking, I was in the command center of the Inverse.  Captain Hot Shot stood before me in a strikingly animated pose of regality.  I immediately snickered and he joined in to what became a shared and hearty laugh.  Back slapping hugs were exchanged and gleeful eyes surveyed each the other loved friend. 

Finally, Captain Hotshot whispered conspiratorially, “You know how every year the wives find out what our gifts to them will be before we can give them?  Well this time they won’t.  I had the Inverse professionally scanned and filtered for any kind of sensors, even organics.  Yep, that cost me a tidy sum.  However, they found and removed a host of sensors.  I was surprised, because I thought I had kept the Inverse sterile.  I tracked the source of the sensors.  It is an elite professional private detective from home planet Earth!  After that, I took an additional step and screamed through a dense wormhole that turned back to its own beginning.  I took refuge in a protective coffin.  If there were any organics, they vanished in annihilation.  Thus, I sit here in sterile isolation to avoid search bots.  Oh!  I am sorry for the delays in responding.  I ran scans on your transmissions for riders or any other anomalies.  I found two and tailored custom jammers just for them.  Those jammers will reflect back and overload the source of the riders, and disable it … or them.  Now I cannot give you the gift you asked me to pick up for your wife, because I cannot be sure that your ship is clean.  Quite likely it is not.  Now you can see why I was being so cautious.  The wives will not best us this year!!” 

I paused in stunned silence before asking, “You really take this gift game of theirs very seriously don’t you?!!” 

Hotshot’s face took on a solid sternness and his eyes turned a steely gray.  Then he said in a low even tone, “I cannot let them get the last laugh every time.  This time we will have the last laugh.  I employed their own deviousness and turned it back on them.  A private detective that I hired works in the same office as the one that they hired and is gathering information on what his own peer is doing with our wives - Ha!  I already know what they are giving us and I know that they are getting desperate to find out anything on what we have done, where we have been, what purchases or agreements we have made … anything at all!  Their detective also suspects that we may have a spy on them, but is unable to find a shred of evidence to support his suspicion.  This will be a wonderful gift exchange this year!  We can thank them for the precise gifts that they give as they hand them to us!  They will be bewildered and wondering what we are giving them.  I can hardly wait for the moment!  Their game will finally be fun for us!  I’m sure that in future years, the gift exchange game will become more and more sophisticated.  But, this year, we will hand a real challenge to them!” 

I sat again, stunned like a stone gargoyle.  I finally muttered, “All of this seems rather extreme.  Are you sure this is a good idea?  You know how this will escalate.” 

Hotshot replied in measured but pleasant cadence, “The adventures that we share with them, allows them a sense of adventure, vicariously.  The adventure that we contrive and share between all of us is real and they absolutely love it.  I love the wives.  To bring joy into their lives in return for their love for us is our REAL gift to them.  So there you are, my friend.  Their own game takes an inverse turn on them and they are absorbed in the mystery as they try to unravel and solve it.  By the way, that is the real reason I changed the name of my ship to Inverse.  It was the only clue that I put out for them to discover and solve.  They have been so good to us over the years.  This is just a small way of thanking them.  So let the fun begin!!” 

I stared fixedly at my long time friend, worried about his mental clarity but admiring his genius and true love.  After a moment of considering all that Hotshot had shared, I broke into a big smile and laughed as I echoed his chorus, “Yes!  Let the fun begin!!” 

Suddenly we both visibly shivered and our hair stood on end.  Over the ship’s intercom we heard our wives laughing uproariously!!  They spoke together.  They probably rehearsed in preparation for this moment, for they said together in perfect sync, “You boys are just not in our league yet!  But, we do love you dearly for trying so hard and for your unselfish motivations out of love for us.”  Then after muffled snickers, rather loudly they proclaimed, “Which is as it should be!” 

We could hear them still giggling as we became aware that they could somehow see our awestruck, jaw-dropping and confused looking faces.  Then they spoke the final blow, “Oh!  By the way!  Thank you in advance for the Pertian Lights floral display and the Redentian organic art gifts!!!” 

Captain Hotshot and I stared at each other for a moment with looks of utter defeat before hanging our heads.  Then intercom came alive again as we heard the wives each contribute, “We love you guys!”, “Yes we do, very much!”, “This coup that we pulled is the best gift ever!”, “We hope it didn’t hurt too much!” .  “Thank you love!”, “Thank you sweetheart!” 

Finally Captain Hotshot looked up and around at the camera.  Starting with a solemn look he began speaking low and slowly at first, “Ladies.  Please turn up your long-range scanners astern.  I know you are together in the “Lady Clause”.  You will see a small barge being uncloaked which has been tractor-tailing your ship for almost a day.  Please send an old-fashioned signal in morse code for pi in its direction and it will come along side and transmit to you a display of its contents, which are our real gifts to you.  They are real earth horses!” 

Hotshot started laughing uproariously at his victory as I shook my head in confusion.  The intercom came alive again, “We know.  In fact, we tethered a food satchel to it this morning because we thought your horse food was rather bland.” 

Suddenly Hotshot’s laughter slammed to a stop and his face turned bright red.  That is only the second time in our long friendship that I saw his face flush like that.  The first time is a story in itself, for another time.  The intercom crackled with gleeful laughter and bursts of declaratives, such as, “We win again!” 

After the merriment died down, the wives reasserted their love and their appreciation for our efforts to brighten their lives as our love gesture. 

After a brief pause, their images appeared on the display console.  Hotshot looked aghast in wonder as to how they achieved that with all of his ship’s security features. 

I simply smiled and then I removed my hat.  Then I made a deep sweeping bow to them while saying, “Well done ladies! Well done indeed! You make me proud!”  Then I reached into my two front pockets and pull out two fists, each wrapped around something glowing within their hold.  I slowly opened my hands then opened tiny bejeweled golden boxes and two flurries of tiny lights, each a different color swirled up and around in synchronized motions and patterns.  Sometimes the two flurries would blend in an almost hypnotic dance of grace and beauty.  They emitted very faint light tinkling harmonics that complimented their dance perfectly.  I watched the wives as they watched in fascination.  Satisfied, I said in the most formally polite voice that I could, “Excuse me, but I think that WE win.” 

After a stunned pause, the wives whispered in conference for a moment and then turned back to the screen.  They bowed together and said together, mimicking me, “Well done!  Well done indeed!  You make us proud too!”  Then, to my consternation, they both pulled open their handbags and reached in, just as I had done.  Together they pulled out their closed hands.  Then each said in turn, “I love you snookums.”,  “I love you stud muffin.” 

We waited with unblinking wondering eyes as they opened their hands in slow motion.  Their hands appeared empty.  We waited for an explanation. 

Hotshot’s wife, Tina, spoke first, “My captain, here is my gift to you.  I give you my eternal love.” 

I heard him suck in a breath and I glimpsed the beaming smile on his face. 

Then my wife, Diane, alluringly almost whispered, “My mate, here is my gift to you.  I give to you my eternal love.” 

We stood in awe.  Slowly we recognized that we were beaten.  However, we simply could not have been happier about it. 

Then to the astonishment of Hotshot, they walked right in, through the Command Center door!  His wife simply said, as if it should have been obvious, “Those were projections to distract you while we boarded from Scorp’s ship, which is where we have been operating from all along.” 

Suddenly Captain Hotshot burst into uproarious laughter, followed by, “I knew that!”  His hand flicked a motion and then suddenly we vanished.  Almost immediately, the cabin door flew open and we stepped back in. 

Hotshot’s wife asked in quick understanding, “Projections?”  The Captain simply nodded with a smile, “We were there on Scorp’s ship with you all along.”  Tina stared at him suspiciously, “Really?  Really really?”  He considered her for a long moment before replying, “No, not really.  I did a quick teleport to the kitchen, so that we could walk back in as if we had the upper hand all along.”  The he exclaimed, “You win, my love, you win!” 

Again she regarded him with suspicion, but then threw herself into his arms with an “I love you!”  I turned just in time to catch my wife, likewise hurling herself, into my arms with her own, “I love you!” 

We all agreed to call it a draw and spent the rest of the evening swapping stories about how we had pulled off little things.  Over all was a warm cloud of merriment, joy, and love bubbling over.  The evening ended with our two couples standing in huddled pairs looking out at the beauty of the stars twinkling like brightly colored diamonds in a soft blanket of black. 

Quietly we retired for the night with warm hugs from each couple to the other.  The last words as they parted were, “I love you, my friend” from each to each one. 

The halls echoed silently with heart-felt thoughts, “Merry Christmas Mike and Tina!”, “Merry Christmas Don and Diane!”

And to all a good night!!

(To be continued…)