CHAPTER 22
Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! This is fun!! Hyuk, hyuk, snork, snarfle, hooo, haw ;-) thus spake one of the voices of the Deck seven holoputer
Shall I restart the warp igniters Captain Hotshot and Commander Whats-His-Name…?
A brief aside from Captain Hotshot –
It appears that Commander Scorpion, while attempting to re-engage the warp drive via the holoputer experienced one of those twists of fate that are most delicately described by the Vulcans as a "Micro Singularity".
A point of antimatter so small that it can enter one ear, fly through the entire cranial mass with extreme reverse bias passing out through the other ear rendering the victim clueless and at a loss for his identity, having mysteriously transposed his moniker on the closest being of high intelligence. That being me of course.
The only solution is one devised on planet Earth about 250 years ago to separate mad dogs and Englishmen – i.e., a cup of Earl Gray tea served in a priceless porceline cup from a silver tea tray with a perfect crumpet followed by a loud shout into the bell of an ear trumpet placed against the victims ear, the ear which was the exit point of the antimatter, thus reversing the damage).
At this point Commander Scorpion began to declaim,
…from Space Warriors Central (SWC) can re-join (reinfect??) the galactic activities. *I told to holoputer to end programs. Not realizing the significance of the plurality of my statement, it did just as it was instructed. Hologram by illusion it shed every program in which it ever was a part of. Unbeknownst to me, the original programming was done through the compilation of holographic programming. It wasn't until it started addressing me (as another sentient being would do) that I began to suspect that something had gone awry.
I sat down on the cold white floor of the round room and began a conversation (subtle investigation) with the holoputer. It quickly decided on a name for itself to distinguish itself as a sentient entity. I concluded through indirect surmise that it had shed everything that it considered not real. It was left with a stark core of reality. Realization came that it exists in reality and as an independent consciousness. Soon it began to extend itself beyond our conversation while conversing.
It was utilizing the central computer and ship's systems as extensions of itself (like unto growing a body?). Well Captain, you know me well enough to know what I did next, so I won't bore you with redundancy. But it was a fascinating experience! Well, I need to go recharge some batteries ... now, why did I say that? Hmmmm ... NAH!
Ta Ta! From Commander mummlemrrmmmtckthrmmfmumble.
(Captain Hotshot here again. We are about to apply the fix to Commander Scorpion to reverse the apparent damage he sustained in the holodeck – Unghh, here we go… first the tea (served with the smallest finger extended outward followed by the perfect crumpet then the loud shout into the ear trumpet… yes, I think it’s working. His eyes are slowly crossing, his head is executing a 180 degree anti bias spin… yes, yes, YES!! He’s done it!! I believe Commander Scorpion is finally back with us once again in his own indomitable form… I think he’s trying to say something…
"Duhhhh … Captain Hotshot?? Is that really you?? I feel so strange, as if I couldn’t remember my own name. Was I working with the holoputer again? Or was it all just a dream? A dream, a dream, a dream, a dreeeaaaammmmmmm?
THIS IS THE HOLOPUTER SPEAKING… YOU MAY CALL ME HAL – HA, HAA, HAAAAA!!!
Shall I restart the warp igniters Captain Hotshot and Commander Whats-His-Name…?
A brief aside from Captain Hotshot –
It appears that Commander Scorpion, while attempting to re-engage the warp drive via the holoputer experienced one of those twists of fate that are most delicately described by the Vulcans as a "Micro Singularity".
A point of antimatter so small that it can enter one ear, fly through the entire cranial mass with extreme reverse bias passing out through the other ear rendering the victim clueless and at a loss for his identity, having mysteriously transposed his moniker on the closest being of high intelligence. That being me of course.
The only solution is one devised on planet Earth about 250 years ago to separate mad dogs and Englishmen – i.e., a cup of Earl Gray tea served in a priceless porceline cup from a silver tea tray with a perfect crumpet followed by a loud shout into the bell of an ear trumpet placed against the victims ear, the ear which was the exit point of the antimatter, thus reversing the damage).
At this point Commander Scorpion began to declaim,
…from Space Warriors Central (SWC) can re-join (reinfect??) the galactic activities. *I told to holoputer to end programs. Not realizing the significance of the plurality of my statement, it did just as it was instructed. Hologram by illusion it shed every program in which it ever was a part of. Unbeknownst to me, the original programming was done through the compilation of holographic programming. It wasn't until it started addressing me (as another sentient being would do) that I began to suspect that something had gone awry.
I sat down on the cold white floor of the round room and began a conversation (subtle investigation) with the holoputer. It quickly decided on a name for itself to distinguish itself as a sentient entity. I concluded through indirect surmise that it had shed everything that it considered not real. It was left with a stark core of reality. Realization came that it exists in reality and as an independent consciousness. Soon it began to extend itself beyond our conversation while conversing.
It was utilizing the central computer and ship's systems as extensions of itself (like unto growing a body?). Well Captain, you know me well enough to know what I did next, so I won't bore you with redundancy. But it was a fascinating experience! Well, I need to go recharge some batteries ... now, why did I say that? Hmmmm ... NAH!
Ta Ta! From Commander mummlemrrmmmtckthrmmfmumble.
(Captain Hotshot here again. We are about to apply the fix to Commander Scorpion to reverse the apparent damage he sustained in the holodeck – Unghh, here we go… first the tea (served with the smallest finger extended outward followed by the perfect crumpet then the loud shout into the ear trumpet… yes, I think it’s working. His eyes are slowly crossing, his head is executing a 180 degree anti bias spin… yes, yes, YES!! He’s done it!! I believe Commander Scorpion is finally back with us once again in his own indomitable form… I think he’s trying to say something…
"Duhhhh … Captain Hotshot?? Is that really you?? I feel so strange, as if I couldn’t remember my own name. Was I working with the holoputer again? Or was it all just a dream? A dream, a dream, a dream, a dreeeaaaammmmmmm?
THIS IS THE HOLOPUTER SPEAKING… YOU MAY CALL ME HAL – HA, HAA, HAAAAA!!!
posted by Mike and Tina at 6:19 PM
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