CHAPTER 9 (Time Warpers)
“HALT! Who goes there? By order of the base Commandant, stop or I’ll be forced to shoot! This is your final warning! Hold, I say! Stand and give the password.”
This was becoming ridiculous. Here I am, a decorated hero of the 17th Stygian war being chased through the barracks of General Hossenpfeffer’s School for Advanced Tactical Training. Yet I dare not allow myself to be stopped and questioned. The last communication from Commander “Scorpion’ Speaker leads me to believe he was headed in this direction. And I have to find him before he is captured by the looney squad and sedated. Every time that happens he tries to divulge secrets, top class critical secrets at that. In fact he has secrets floating around in his head that are so secret even he can’t access them.
I think he may be near. I finally caught a wiff of Grand Teton beer wafting on ther light breeze from between those two buildings. And yes, I hear maniacal laughter coming out of that downspout. He’s on the roof. If I can just use that garbage can in the corner as a vault, I might be able to catch up with him. (loud noise as a garbage can lid is compressed and rolls onto the ground, followed by a loud OOOoofff as Captain ‘Hotshot’ Dolan reaches the roof of the building.
“For Pete’s sake Commander Scorpion, it is I your faithful companion, and erstwhile traveling mate! We need to make our way back to the field. I’ve got the Lucky Dragon fired up ready to take us to orbit and back to our regular ship, The Highball.” Suddenly I see my buddy start to weave on his feet, in fact he’s becoming a chimera, slowly disappearing before my eyes.
Damn!! He’s using the DolSpeak Double Dodge Back Stepping Forward Flip Leap maneuver we used to practice. He won't even know what time I am in! In fact he won’t know what time he’s in. Listen to him laugh… it sounds like he’s flipped out or trapped in an echo box. Ha ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! Ha ! . ha ..!
Well here goes nothing. I’m going to execute a Spinning Delta Twinge with a Half Glart. It should shoot me into the vortex he created and pull me in with him. This is one of the most dangerous maneuvers (manurers – sp) on the books. But there isn’t time for anything else. I see the gilt clad guards of the base commander crawling over the lip of the building. It’s now or neverrrrrrrrrrrrr……
“Hey Don, look at the walls of the vortex we’re in. The colors are wonderful!! Purples and oranges and green an …. Ooooppss, they’re all fading fading fading leaving only a little black with a side dish of bluuuuueeeeeee………..
And so we leave Commander ‘Scorpion’ Speaker and Captain ‘Hotshot’ Dolan drifting through a time vortex on a journey to anywhen anyhow anyway. Will they make it back in time for drinks before supper? Or will they be forced to spend eternity caught doing the Time Warp? Will they find Eddy, Brad, Rocky, Dr Scott or the other Transylvania 6-5000 players? Who knows. Perhaps it’s a question best left to metafisical subtraction… <>
“HALT! Who goes there? By order of the base Commandant, stop or I’ll be forced to shoot! This is your final warning! Hold, I say! Stand and give the password.”
This was becoming ridiculous. Here I am, a decorated hero of the 17th Stygian war being chased through the barracks of General Hossenpfeffer’s School for Advanced Tactical Training. Yet I dare not allow myself to be stopped and questioned. The last communication from Commander “Scorpion’ Speaker leads me to believe he was headed in this direction. And I have to find him before he is captured by the looney squad and sedated. Every time that happens he tries to divulge secrets, top class critical secrets at that. In fact he has secrets floating around in his head that are so secret even he can’t access them.
I think he may be near. I finally caught a wiff of Grand Teton beer wafting on ther light breeze from between those two buildings. And yes, I hear maniacal laughter coming out of that downspout. He’s on the roof. If I can just use that garbage can in the corner as a vault, I might be able to catch up with him. (loud noise as a garbage can lid is compressed and rolls onto the ground, followed by a loud OOOoofff as Captain ‘Hotshot’ Dolan reaches the roof of the building.
“For Pete’s sake Commander Scorpion, it is I your faithful companion, and erstwhile traveling mate! We need to make our way back to the field. I’ve got the Lucky Dragon fired up ready to take us to orbit and back to our regular ship, The Highball.” Suddenly I see my buddy start to weave on his feet, in fact he’s becoming a chimera, slowly disappearing before my eyes.
Damn!! He’s using the DolSpeak Double Dodge Back Stepping Forward Flip Leap maneuver we used to practice. He won't even know what time I am in! In fact he won’t know what time he’s in. Listen to him laugh… it sounds like he’s flipped out or trapped in an echo box.
Well here goes nothing. I’m going to execute a Spinning Delta Twinge with a Half Glart. It should shoot me into the vortex he created and pull me in with him. This is one of the most dangerous maneuvers (manurers – sp) on the books. But there isn’t time for anything else. I see the gilt clad guards of the base commander crawling over the lip of the building. It’s now or neverrrrrrrrrrrrr……
“Hey Don, look at the walls of the vortex we’re in. The colors are wonderful!! Purples and oranges and green an …. Ooooppss, they’re all fading fading fading leaving only a little black with a side dish of bluuuuueeeeeee………..
And so we leave Commander ‘Scorpion’ Speaker and Captain ‘Hotshot’ Dolan drifting through a time vortex on a journey to anywhen anyhow anyway. Will they make it back in time for drinks before supper? Or will they be forced to spend eternity caught doing the Time Warp? Will they find Eddy, Brad, Rocky, Dr Scott or the other Transylvania 6-5000 players? Who knows. Perhaps it’s a question best left to metafisical subtraction… <>
posted by Mike and Tina at 8:45 AM
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